Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ep. 123 – Dad Bod Dynasty

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:04:28 — 88.6MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

🎙️ Show Summary written by a robot: We Hired a Sitter For This – Episode 123: “Dad Bod Dynasty”

Comedians and hosts Patrick Holbert and Gastor Almonte are back with another uproarious episode of “We Hired a Sitter For This.” Tune in as they navigate the comedic landscape of fatherhood, sports, and the trials of parenting.

Main Topics:

  • 🏈 Super Bowl Shenanigans: Join Patrick and Gastor as they dissect the highs and lows of the Super Bowl, from the thrilling game action to the unforgettable halftime show. Get ready for laughs as they share their unique perspectives on football’s biggest event. (Note from a human- we did not get into the game details at all LOL)
  • 🤰 Patrick Mahomes’ “Dad Bod”: Dive into the hilarious commentary as the hosts discuss Patrick Mahomes’ iconic “dad bod” and its implications in the world of sports and fatherhood. Prepare for laughs as they weigh in on the pressures of maintaining physique amidst fatherly duties.
  • 💰 Gastor’s Sports Betting Saga: Explore Gastor’s comedic relationship with sports betting as he shares anecdotes and insights from his adventures in gambling. From thrilling victories to unexpected losses, Gastor’s journey through the world of sports betting is a rollercoaster of laughs.
  • 🛣️ Life on the Road: Laugh along as Gastor recounts his six-day stint working on the road in Texas and Idaho. From quirky encounters to unexpected adventures, Gastor’s tales from the road promise an entertaining glimpse into life as a traveling comedian.
  • 🍽️ Kitchen Gate Debates: Join the hosts in a comedic exploration of the aftermath of Patrick and Ross taking down the child safety gate in their kitchen. From newfound freedoms to potential kitchen chaos, Patrick and Gastor tackle the age-old question of parenting: What are the rules for a small child with access to the kitchen?
  • 🥗 Teen Nutrition Troubles: Delve into the comedic dynamics of teen nutrition routines as Gastor shares insights into his family’s evolving dietary habits. From navigating newfound autonomy to balancing healthy choices, Patrick and Gastor provide a humorous take on the challenges of teen nutrition.
  • 🎉 Birthday Party Blues: Laugh and learn as the hosts discuss how parents should handle the delicate situation of a poorly attended child’s birthday party. From navigating disappointment to finding silver linings, Patrick and Gastor offer comedic insights into handling parenting mishaps.

Tune in for a hilarious and heartwarming episode of “We Hired a Sitter For This” as Patrick and Gastor navigate the wild ride of fatherhood, sports, and parenting with their signature blend of humor and insight.

Follow your hosts on social media:
Patrick Holbert: @theholbertreport
Gastor Almonte: @GastorAlmonte
Ross Martineau: @rosserinmartineau

Ep. 122 Psychotic Levels of Romance

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:50 — 83.6MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

🎙️ Podcast Summary (Written by a Robot):

“We Hired a Sitter For This” – Episode 122: “Psychotic Levels of Romance”

Join comedians and parents Patrick and Gastor in Episode 122 of “We Hired a Sitter For This” as they delve into a whirlwind of comedic discussions, ranging from childcare dilemmas to the complexities of romance and parenting.

Main Topics:

  • 👩‍👧‍👦 Trusting Childcare: Patrick and Gastor share their humorous insights into the age-old question of who they can truly trust with childcare. Get ready for laughs as they navigate the delicate balance of finding reliable caregivers for their little ones.
  • 💸 Regrets and Babysitter Blues: Explore the comedic pitfalls of hiring a babysitter, only to regret it when the date doesn’t live up to expectations. Patrick and Gastor dish out hilarious anecdotes and reflections on the trials and tribulations of investing in a night out.
  • 🎁 Gastor’s Gift-Giving Antics: Dive into the comedic world of Gastor’s gift-giving practices in his marriage. From thoughtful gestures to outrageous surprises, Gastor’s approach to romance is guaranteed to leave you in stitches.
  • 💘 Dating Wisdom: Gastor shares his unique brand of dating advice, offering up pearls of wisdom with a comedic twist. Prepare for laughs as Gastor serves up his take on the dos and don’ts of modern romance.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Roles in Parenthood: Join the hosts in a candid exploration of the evolving roles husbands and wives play in each other’s lives, particularly after welcoming children into the mix. Discover the comedic dynamics of partnership and parenthood as Patrick and Gastor share their perspectives.
  • 🎮 Parent-Child Bonding: Laugh along as Patrick and Gastor discuss various bonding methods between parents and children, from playful games to memorable trips. Explore the heartwarming and hilarious moments that strengthen the parent-child bond.

Tune in for a rollercoaster of laughter and relatable insights in “We Hired a Sitter For This” Episode 122: “Psychotic Levels of Romance.” Whether you’re a parent, a romantic at heart, or just in need of a good laugh, this episode promises an entertaining blend of humor and heart.

Ep. 121 The Kia Compromise

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:37 — 87.4MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

🎙️ Podcast Summary (written by a Robot):

“We Hired a Sitter For This” – Episode 121

Patrick and Gastor are at it again in Episode 121 of “We Hired a Sitter For This,” delivering a hearty dose of humor and insightful banter. Join the comedic duo as they explore everything from the quirks of life on the road to the unique roles sports and minimalism play in their households.

Main Topics:

  • 🚗 The Saga of Patrick’s 2010 Kia Sorento: Brace yourself for laughter as Patrick unravels the hilarious tales of his enduring 2010 Kia Sorento, and the comedic challenges it poses when used for road work as a comedian.
  • 🪑 Gastor’s Throne: Discover the world of Gastor’s cherished “chair,” the epicenter of his football-watching experience. From the importance of this piece of furniture to the comedic tales it holds, the hosts take you on a journey into the heart of Gastor’s game-day rituals.
  • 🏈 Sports and Gambling: Dive into a candid discussion about the roles sports play in Patrick and Gastor’s lives. While football and gambling bring joy and excitement for Gastor, Patrick shares how his relationship with sports has evolved over time.
  • 🏡 Minimalism at Home: Explore the comedic dynamics of household minimalism as the hosts reflect on their wives’ impressive abilities to declutter and minimize belongings. Laugh along as they navigate the subtle art of domestic simplicity.

Whether you’re a comedy enthusiast, a sports fan, or simply someone looking for a good laugh, “We Hired a Sitter For This” Episode 121 promises an entertaining blend of humor, relatability, and unique perspectives.

Give us a follow!

Patrick: @theholbertreport

Gastor: @GastorAlmonte

120 Ross is back and sick of it!

Uncategorized

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:04:00 — 87.9MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

Podcast Summary (Written by a Robot):

🎙️ Title: “We Hired a Sitter For This” 🔥 Episode Title: “Ross is back and sick of it!”

Hold onto your hats, folks! 🎩 The uproarious “We Hired a Sitter For This” is back, and this time, Patrick and Ross have wrestled the mics back from the clutches of Gastor. Ross, the OG co-host, is back, and she’s not holding back—she’s had it up to here! 🤯

The laughter kicks off as Ross spills the juicy details of her latest adventure – a pinkeye saga courtesy of the adorable troublemaker, Franny, their daughter. Who knew parenting could be this glamorous? 🤣

But that’s not all! Brace yourselves for a rollercoaster of hilarity as the dynamic duo dives into the chaos of parenting stress, spills the beans on the importance of date nights (amidst the madness), and shares side-splitting anecdotes of their family escapades. 🚀

As if that weren’t enough, they drop a bombshell! 🌪️ Teasing the future of their polyamorous marriage, Ross and Patrick keep the excitement coming. Get ready for a wild ride of humor, relatability, and a sneak peek into the unconventional twists of their love story. 🎢

Buckle up, listeners, because “We Hired a Sitter For This” is serving up laughs, love, and a whole lot of craziness! 🤪

119 Emergency Contact Dog Psychic

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:01 — 57.7MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

🎙️ Podcast Summary Written By a Robot:

“We Hired a Sitter For This” – Episode 119: “Emergency Contact Dog Psychic”

Join Patrick and Gastor, the witty minds behind “We Hired a Sitter For This,” as they unravel the quirks of parenthood with candid humor.

Parental Chronicles:

  • 😴 Sleeping Saga: Patrick vents his comedic frustration about unexpected challenges arising from co-sleeping with his daughter and Ross. Bedtime routines take an unexpected, laugh-inducing turn!
  • 🤰 Support Squad: Explore the journey of Patrick and Ross through parenthood as they hilariously recount hiring a sleep coach, a lactation consultant, attending a birth class over Zoom, and even consulting with a dog psychic! Gastor, in his classic style, skewers these “invented jobs” with humor and wit.
  • 🤔 Sensitive Dad in a “Boy’s Club”: Patrick reflects on the nuances of being a sensitive father to a daughter in the male-dominated world of comedy green rooms. It’s a candid exploration of navigating a space that sometimes feels like a locker room.

Gastor’s Wisdom:

  • 🚀 Navigating Tricky Situations: Gastor provides valuable advice as Patrick shares a tricky encounter involving toxic masculinity in comedy green rooms. Laugh and learn as Gastor offers insights into handling awkward situations with finesse.

Explore the lighter side of parenting with Patrick and Gastor on “We Hired a Sitter For This” Episode 119: “Emergency Contact Dog Psychic.” This isn’t your typical parenting podcast; it’s a genuine exploration of the funny side of fatherhood. Tune in for a dose of laughter and real-talk.

Ep. 118 Who is The Wknd?? WHASFT

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:12:57 — 66.8MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

🎙️ Podcast Summary Written by a Robot:

“We Hired a Sitter For This” – Episode 118: “Who is The Wknd?

Join Patrick and Gastor in the latest episode of “We Hired a Sitter For This,” marked as their third hosting collaboration. The duo brings a fresh perspective and their signature humor to a range of intriguing topics.

Main Topics:

  • 🤔 The Pledge of Allegiance Debate: Patrick sparks a thought-provoking discussion as he delves into why he finds the Pledge of Allegiance creepy and potentially fascist. Brace yourself for a humorous exploration of national allegiance and the nuances involved.
  • 🎤 “Who is The Wknd?”: Gastor playfully pokes fun at Patrick’s uncertainty about whether he’s in the know about the pop star, The Weeknd. The banter unfolds as Gastor teases Patrick about his pop culture awareness.

Parental Chronicles:

  • 😷 Franny’s Illness Stress: Patrick opens up about the ongoing sickness of his child, Franny, and the added stress it brings to his household. Join in for a candid discussion about the challenges of parenting and navigating through family health issues.
  • 🎭 Comedy and Survivor’s Guilt: Patrick reflects on the unique challenges of being a comedian with the ability to leave the house for performances while leaving Ross with the responsibilities of caring for their baby. Dive into the complexities of comedy life and the associated feelings of survivor’s guilt.
  • 🎙️ Gig Adventures: Patrick shares a humorous anecdote about contemplating stealing sound equipment at a gig. Get ready for laughs as he recounts the mischievous thoughts that crossed his mind in the world of live performances.

Explore the dynamic and entertaining conversations in “We Hired a Sitter For This” Episode 118: “Who is The Wknd?” Laugh along with Patrick and Gastor as they navigate everything from national allegiance to pop star awareness and the ups and downs of parenting.

Ep. 116 New Co Host!!! Gastor Almonte

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:27 — 116.2MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

Heyyyy we’re back with a new episode. Well, not the “We” you may be used to. This week we’ve got a new co host going through the onboarding process. He’s seen HR, he’s got his direct deposit info submitted to the finance department, and he’s ready to rock.

Gastor Almonte is one of my oldest friends in comedy and I admire him very much. He’s a father of two older children and he’s a wise man. Take a listen to this fun convo about child-rearing in NYC in 2024!!!

Also, follow Gastor on all the stuff—- @GastorAlmonte

And me too! @TheHolbertReport

Ep. 115 – We Hired a Sitter #3

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:42 — 47.4MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

This is my second time posting this episode. I made a mistake on the first upload. Apologies to our loyal listeners who eagerly await each episode drop like it’s the McRib at McDonald’s or Pumpkin Spice Latte back in stock at Starbucks. Basically, this episode is a wild ride in podcast experimentation. It’s Guerrilla Podcasting, folks! Anything can happen. Mistakes get made. Chronology be damned! The last segment in this episode was recorded first! Or was it? I don’t know anymore. But the point is, I messed up editing so this one is correct. I hope you enjoy!!!!

please follow us @theholbertreport and @rosserinmartineau on instagram

 

Ep. 114 We Hired a Sitter #2

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:22:01 — 150.2MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

Hi it’s our second episode of the podcast formerly known as Who Cares About Ross and Patrick. This is WE HIRED A SITTER FOR THIS. Thanks for tuning in.

We talk very very openly about money. How we make it, how we spend it, how much we are debting, etc. You’re welcome! Let our stress be your comfort. Patrick talks about the kind of money he makes (or doesn’t make) as a comic and Ross talks about how changing careers is sending their family onto the precipice of financial ruin.

Also, I celebrated 15 years sober this week (this is Patrick writing by the way). So I recorded a very odd solo segment about feeling grateful about my sobriety. So take a listen if interested. There are rats involved.

Feel free to give us both a follow on IG, we communicate a lot with listeners and producers there. @rosserinstyles and @theholbertreport and @who.cares.podcast

We are thinking of putting together a yoga / creativity retreat in Fall 2024. Would you come?

Also, we are thinking of starting a Patreon to try to proceed with this podcast solvently. We would offer bonus episodes, behind the scenes footage, audience questions, etc etc who knows maybe even tasteful nudes. Would you join a patreon if we started one??

Ep. 112 – Who cares about losing virginity??

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:08:35 — 62.8MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More Subscribe Options

Hello and welcome to Topic Town, population two!! On this, our one hundred and twelfth episode- we decide to discuss a specific topic and this first one is spicy. We both tell the stories of how we lost our virginity. So saddle up and get on the T train, you’re headed to pound town! Enjoy this mushroom trip about mushroom tips. Eww this description is gross.