Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ep. 116 New Co Host!!! Gastor Almonte

Advice, Comedy, Marriage, Parenting, Pop Culture, Sex, Travel, Uncategorized, , , , , ,

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Heyyyy we’re back with a new episode. Well, not the “We” you may be used to. This week we’ve got a new co host going through the onboarding process. He’s seen HR, he’s got his direct deposit info submitted to the finance department, and he’s ready to rock.

Gastor Almonte is one of my oldest friends in comedy and I admire him very much. He’s a father of two older children and he’s a wise man. Take a listen to this fun convo about child-rearing in NYC in 2024!!!

Also, follow Gastor on all the stuff—- @GastorAlmonte

And me too! @TheHolbertReport

Ep. 115 – We Hired a Sitter #3

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This is my second time posting this episode. I made a mistake on the first upload. Apologies to our loyal listeners who eagerly await each episode drop like it’s the McRib at McDonald’s or Pumpkin Spice Latte back in stock at Starbucks. Basically, this episode is a wild ride in podcast experimentation. It’s Guerrilla Podcasting, folks! Anything can happen. Mistakes get made. Chronology be damned! The last segment in this episode was recorded first! Or was it? I don’t know anymore. But the point is, I messed up editing so this one is correct. I hope you enjoy!!!!

please follow us @theholbertreport and @rosserinmartineau on instagram

 

Ep. 114 We Hired a Sitter #2

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Hi it’s our second episode of the podcast formerly known as Who Cares About Ross and Patrick. This is WE HIRED A SITTER FOR THIS. Thanks for tuning in.

We talk very very openly about money. How we make it, how we spend it, how much we are debting, etc. You’re welcome! Let our stress be your comfort. Patrick talks about the kind of money he makes (or doesn’t make) as a comic and Ross talks about how changing careers is sending their family onto the precipice of financial ruin.

Also, I celebrated 15 years sober this week (this is Patrick writing by the way). So I recorded a very odd solo segment about feeling grateful about my sobriety. So take a listen if interested. There are rats involved.

Feel free to give us both a follow on IG, we communicate a lot with listeners and producers there. @rosserinstyles and @theholbertreport and @who.cares.podcast

We are thinking of putting together a yoga / creativity retreat in Fall 2024. Would you come?

Also, we are thinking of starting a Patreon to try to proceed with this podcast solvently. We would offer bonus episodes, behind the scenes footage, audience questions, etc etc who knows maybe even tasteful nudes. Would you join a patreon if we started one??

Ep. 112 – Who cares about losing virginity??

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Hello and welcome to Topic Town, population two!! On this, our one hundred and twelfth episode- we decide to discuss a specific topic and this first one is spicy. We both tell the stories of how we lost our virginity. So saddle up and get on the T train, you’re headed to pound town! Enjoy this mushroom trip about mushroom tips. Eww this description is gross.

Ep. 111 – Who cares about emergency room nightmares??

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When your kid gets a gnarly case of Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease, there’s only one way to get a little comfort: Pretend like it was more painful for you- The Parent. Listen in as we recap what it was like to go to a real life medieval emergency room right here in Brooklyn. We also chat about an even worse trauma: Patrick bombing in grand fashion on the internet.

Are you following us on the socials? Please do! Here’s our IG info:

Podcast: @who.cares.podcast

Ross: @rosserinstyles

Patrick: @theholbertreport

Visit www.patrickholbert.com for upcoming standup shows!

Ep. 110 – Who cares about anything??

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Who cares about anything when world war three is on and poppin?? Who cares about anything when you just had an afternoon romp? Who cares about anything when your toddler is a terrrorist?? Who cares about anything when this could be THE LAST EPISODE OF WHO CARES EVER??

We’re saying “could be” because even if it is, that’s only because we are probably going to change the name of the podcast. Take a listen to find out what we might change it to! And let us know if it’s the best idea you’ve ever heard in your life. If you think it’s a bad idea, piss off.

This episode sponsored by iodine anti radiation pills

Ep. 109 – Who cares about bumping uglies??

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In a very spooky episode of who cares, Ross and Patrick over share about their own bodies, smooshing their bodies together (very sexy), trying to clean Fran’s undercarriage after epic dumps, and so much more! Ross is high on Benadryl after a cortisone shot so who the fuck knows what is going on. Join them on another rocky road filled episode of who cares. Seriously, what the hell are they even talking about?!

Ep. 108 – Who cares about literal or figurative trash??

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This week Ross and Patrick take you on a tour of their current state which is chaotic, sleep deprived, and impassioned. They’re all over the the place- from Bachelor in Paradise to calling a local city council member about the trash crisis in Bushwick. Can you keep up with their scatter brained diatribes?? More importantly, all Ross wants to know is, have you watched Succession and do you love Kendall as much as she does? Trust me, you don’t. Enjoy!

Ep. 107 – Who cares about capitalism??

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Hello viewers! Have you missed Ross and Patrick? Well they’ve missed you. In this episode, they discuss the albatross around all of our necks, CAPITALISM. Hooray! Did you know we’ve all been brainwashed since childhood to think that we need to be producing at all times and that said production equates to our personal self worth? Don’t worry, Ross and Patrick also take you on a gorgeous journey of their long term stay at a hotel in a city that shall remain nameless and the cast of characters who work there. A place where up is down, down is up, pools are hot, and hot tubs are cold. Join them, won’t you?

Ep. 106 – Who cares about Patrick’s nitz??

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We recorded another hot one in the office space. We went as long as we could before our tits melted off. Listen in as we kvetch about traveling with the child, Patrick’s upcoming vasectomy, and “Aunt Book.” Send along any terrible memes you want us to tear apart next week. Love u!!